- Would you date outside your own culture?
- This Is Why Dating Sucks When You Aren’t White
- This Is Why Dating Sucks When You Aren’t White | Thought Catalog
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- Why do girls find brown skinned Indian/Paki guys so unattractive?
Anyway, I didn't stop hating white people until I was like 22, but I'm over it now. My BF is even half white. Being from a flyover state where everyone is just as drummed down as the next, whenever I've dated a latina girl I've fit right in. Blue color is blue color. Sure some foods are different, and some music and language is different, but besides that the biggest problem we had was a divide on Chevy versus Ford.
For me, I'm generally just not attracted to black guys. There's always the rare exception dotted here and there, but as a general rule, I simply do not find black guys physically attractive enough to date. And just like everyone else, I tend to only date or hook up with people I find attractive. If I met someone who was as physically attractive to me as Lenny Kravitz or T.
I would say there was too much of a cultural difference and a lot of black guys are too "ghetto" for my tastes, but that's an absurd argument to me. For one, obviously not all black people are "ghetto", although many people in our society stereotype them as such Does "You don't sound black" ring a bell? I know many very intelligent, polite, and cultured folks of all different races. And I wouldn't date what I dub "white trash" either, so citing too much of a cultural difference as a turn off based on a specific race seems silly to me.
Sure, I'm white and attracted to white guys for the most part.
Would you date outside your own culture?
My best friend is black and also prefers white guys, but she does date black guys occasionally. I also tend to find Hispanic guys very attractive and have dated a few, as well as Indian guys.
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The occasional East Asian guy draws my eye, but that is more rare than the others. I grew up with a very racially diverse group of friends throughout my life, many of whom I remain in contact with to this day. So I'm very comfortable with interacting with people of different races. That doesn't bother me.
This Is Why Dating Sucks When You Aren’t White
There isn't always some prejudicial ulterior motive. Sometimes it really is just a matter of who you're attracted to and who you aren't. I'm right with you on the opposite side - black girls just don't typically do it for me unless they've got a good deal of cream in their coffee Beyonce, Tyra, Halle Berry, etc. People who put up that flag have motives other than physical attraction - be it "what will my family think?! Not finding a certain race physically attractive is one thing, but sticking your nose in the air and declaring you don't stoop down to the level of dating that race is completely different.
Yeah, unfortunately a lot of people think that me saying that I don't find black guys attractive is just a cover-up for me being a closet racist. Are you friends with any black guys? I'm going to feel uncomfortable and insecure in a "friendship" that is really just a front for a guy I already don't find physically attractive to try to get into my pants or otherwise date me.
I firmly believe that, over time, people can and do grow more attracted to friends they originally found unattractive if they have a great personality. But if I know right off the bat that the guy's intention is to somehow "convince" me to find him attractive, that's kind of a turn off in and of itself. The reason why they try to convince you otherwise is because you tell them that you're not attracted to them because they're black.
Just do the same thing you do when you reject anyone else of any other race. As for guys who take rejection and spin it into being friends, you're absolutely right about being wary of them. They're either lying to you or lying to themselves about their motives behind getting close to you, and it's only a matter of time before SURPRISE, they're secretly still into you. I strongly believe this is why acquaintance rape is so common.
I went to some countries where people would be open about the fact that they think us white "american" girls are little godless whores.
This Is Why Dating Sucks When You Aren’t White | Thought Catalog
In asia I wasn't as important as my brother was cause i"m just a girl. My asian and brown friends? It's generally easier, especially if things get serious. Many have dreams of creating a family that would be similar to the one they grew up in. Now dating interracially would not get you close to this goal. Why spend time with someone you know you dont want, when you can spend time for someone you want.
We all have our mr. Here is a subreddit that is constantly up everyone's ass about social justice, victim blaming and checking privileges but when the shoe was on the other foot, nobody deleted any posts, nobody called anybody else out. That one thread showed that they really don't give a shit about that sorta thing unless it pertains to white women. For people asking me for the link, I didn't bookmark it or anything and it's from a while ago.
There is a very recent megathread on there about how women perceive black men to be rapists though that I haven't read through. I think this is it: I have no problem with someone's preference, but I have a major problem with seeing that the only women who were downvoted were the women who "don't have a problem dating black guys.
All the upvotes went to women who "just have never been attracted to black guys," or women who "have a problem with the culture nudge, nudge, wink, wink. That thread makes no sense. Most of the downvoted comments are innocuous opinions. They aren't even aggressive or condescending. Askwomen, I am disappoint.
From what I can tell, when that thread was going on someone posted a link to it in an anti-black subreddit that no longer exists. That may explain some of the votes, at least partially. To what extent, I'm unsure; I have no idea how active the anti-black subreddit was. Oh - thanks for pointing that out.
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Atleast it was some old-fashioned brigading instead of the subreddit downvoting the comments. Being brown can actually be a boon or a disadvantage to do what you want to do. In the beginning you're considered either an "outsider" or something interesting or exotic. In reality, you're a human being and if you've worked on your game, fitness, career, and look well enough, you'll be a really interesting person for these women to look at and talk to.
There's some things you gotta understand, though: You have to be prepared to hold yourself to a higher standard than white guys are held to, because brown guys don't have the same generally positive reception and image that white guys do out in the game. Everything from movies, TV, etc that we've seen usually has a white male protagonist and that image gets burned pretty deep into people's psyches, whether they'll admit to it or not.
In addition, you cannot come off as creepy, ever. Lastly, you can play being brown to your advantage by being loosely connected with your roots while playfully engaging in other people's cultural points of interest. In short, be different enough to be interesting, be similar enough to be relatable, and be generally affable. There's not much you can do beyond that, but if you play your cards right, you can turn it into a winning hand.
This was one of the best responses I've read so far. Cheers hombre, you wrote down everything I was thinking.
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This is an excellent response. I'm spanish and have always feared being judged based on my race. I feel like I'm constantly being watched and I have to walk on egg shells, not for myself, but for my race. It is very disheartening and quite frankly exhausting. My wife is white, and we constantly get stared at by different people. She never notices it, but I do. What I try to do when I'm getting to know someone is I point out the similarities between our families and cultures.
Why do girls find brown skinned Indian/Paki guys so unattractive?
For example, when I first met my wife's family, I made it a point to state that my mother worked at a bank and my father worked in a warehouse. Her parents, coincidentally also worked at a bank and warehouse. Also both our parents are immigrants. I was trying to show them, that even though they all started from different locations, they all ended up at similar points. Reading this was simultaneously depressing and interesting. It's unfortunate that stereotypes cause the need to overcome barriers and adapt Eh, it ain't so bad.
I just try to be the best man I can be, and if a woman won't give me a chance because of something superficial, it's a loss for them, not me. I think that your statement applies to brown women as well. I can relate a lot to this post because where I live I encounter mostly white guys.
Some show interest, yet hesitate to go further for a variety of factors. In the back of my mind, I always wonder if it's because I am black.